Lasting Love — There’s a Ghost of Chance

by Melody Jean

Lasting Love — There’s a Ghost of Chance Contemporary SeekerI don’t believe in destiny, or the guiding hand of fate. I don’t believe in forever, or love as a mystical state. I don’t believe in the stars or the planets, or angels watching from above. But I believe there’s a ghost of a chance we can find someone to love. And make it last…”

— “Ghost of Chance,” Rush

Ethereal Love

There was a time when I believed in destiny and the fate of soul-mates – another ethereal soul-being floating out there amongst the cosmic world. The one that destiny would ensure I met.

When the time came I naturally expected that our eyes would lock, and the rest would be relational bliss.

A Journey Unto Myself

As time would have it, I’ve grown older – but still a kid at heart  <wink, wink>.

Over the course of my journey seeking truth and higher knowledge, I’ve come to understand much about relationships. After all, by nature, spiritual quests are heavily relational.

Me and My Soul-mates

While I’ve had the wondrous pleasure of meeting some who I thought were my “soul-mate,” in the literal definition of the word; I found out they weren’t (also in the literal definition of the word).

For some, the initial feeling was so deep and intricate that I truly felt that the heavens and stars finally aligned and destiny dropped him at my feet.

Perhaps this was true to some extent, in that we were intended to meet, yet I take great pause with the term soul-mate.

The reason? They’ve come and gone.

And I now know why …

The Design & Movement

There is a world outside of destiny and soul-mates.

It took time for me to realize this.

The Sufis maintain that our primary design is set, yet within, we have freedom to move about and influence outcomes.

This resonates with me on many levels. Yet, I will keep it in the context to which I am speaking where it’s quite simple to see it’s applicability.

While we might meet someone whom it feels as if we were destined to be with, either person can change the “destined” course, or the outcome of that meeting.

If the relationship ends, the reason is likely because of mindful decisions, not so much the cosmos influences.

The Essential Ingredients

There are so many necessary and essential elements needed in order to attain, and maintain the relationship that I desire. Or that anyone desires, for that matter.

And I would never know this quite like I do, now, unless I partnered with those whom I have.

Some have easily shown me much of what I seek – all of the beauty that relationships can offer.

And others helped me to glean that which I do not want, by withholding those very elements.

Yet, perhaps the most telling lesson I learned, is also one of the most painful. Hence it’s the primary purpose of this post.

Once the euphoria, butterflies, and honeymoon period dissipates, and real life sets in, it takes work to stay in love.

If there is no work – there is no love – and there is no more relationship.

So soul-mate, or not, it can end. If it does, it’s often by free will.

Making it Last

I was introduced to the Rush song that I opened with by a former boyfriend, which is seemingly ironic in and of itself.

And not only is it one of my all-time favorite tunes, it’s also my new relational foundation.

While I no longer believe in just one particular soul-mate, destiny, or the stars and planets aligning because I’ve met many who I’ve had soul connections with; I do believe there’s a ghost of a chance that I will finally find someone to love … and make it last.

I’ll leave you with this quote:

“No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it is by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice.”  — author unknown

I offer, too, this YouTube link so that you can listen to Rush’s “Ghost of Chance” (with lyrics below).

“Ghost Of A Chance”

Like a million little doorways
All the choices we made
All the stages we passed through
All the roles we played

For so many different directions
Our separate paths might have turned
With every door that we opened
Every bridge that we burned

Somehow we find each other
Through all that masquerade
Somehow we found each other
Somehow we have stayed
In a state of grace

I don’t believe in destiny
Or the guiding hand of fate
I don’t believe in forever
Or love as a mystical state
I don’t believe in the stars or the planets
Or angels watching from above
But I believe there’s a ghost of a chance we can find someone to love
And make it last…

Like a million little crossroads
Through the back streets of youth
Each time we turn a new corner
A tiny moment of truth

For so many different connections
Our separate paths might have made
With every door that we opened
Every game we played

Somehow we find each other
Through all that masquerade
Somehow we found each other
Somehow we have stayed
In a state of grace

I don’t believe in destiny
Or the guiding hand of fate
I don’t believe in forever
Or love as a mystical state
I don’t believe in the stars or the planets
Or angels watching from above
But I believe there’s a ghost of a chance we can find someone to love
And make it last…

 

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

SMK

One of my favorite songs and yet another great post, Melody!

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Melody Jean

Thanks SMK … can’t beat Rush, and sometimes, you read something and you just “get” it. Glad you “got” this, though I’m not surprised :)

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