Unlearning to Learn — Let It Be

by Melody Jean

Unlearning to Learn — Let It Be Contemporary Seeker PhotoI realize that I have unlearned so many basic human life essentials along the way; elements that were innate, almost a birthright.

Those little things I now understand I took for granted.

Fundamentals said to be so crucial to life that we “just pick them up along the way,” barely noticing their existence.

We learn these ‘basics’ growing among societies, our families and from living, loving, laughing, and, yes, even losing.

So I’m not sure why or when they went away; leaving my collective being, all I know is there gone.

Whether it’s just for now, or it’s forever that I do not know either.

Mystics maintain we need to unlearn to learn again, perhaps that’s a little of what is going on here.

I can’t know for sure, but I share.

Making Sense of “Un-sense”

I mentioned to my dad, Dr. Stewart Bitkoff, one fundamental, which just wasn’t a desire anymore, being among large crowds, and socializing in the masses.

He responded “Just accept it about yourself; let it be.”

The comfort I found in those words is inexpressible.

I thought “Wow, it is okay and more importantly, I am okay.”

The Missing Pieces

I’m sure if I dissect each vanishing element I can deduce it down. One by one that is.

I can fixate like that. I’d be able to at least pinpoint one reason said desire(s), abilities or fundamental(s) are gone.

Yet, why put myself through that?

Especially in a time when I just recognized they’re gone.

Finding Reason Among Many

My dad, too, always says we humans look for one reason for something when there are many.

So by breaking each out, I know where it will lead to.

My human nature will seek one purpose, one reason, one explanation for each … one, one, and one.

Because I am black and white like that sometimes.

So all I will do is sit in knowing that these old essentials are just not here right now.

Being able to acknowledge that, let it go, and still love myself for what remains is truly all that matters at this time.

It’s refreshing in a sense; a lifting of a weight.

Those Pieces that Are Gone

There are so many elements I don’t know how to do anymore, lost the ability to do, or have zero desire to do. Yet, I’ll list just a few to offer a semblance of what I speak to here.

Perhaps you can relate.

I can no longer sleep comfortably or cry hard tears even when utterly saddened by a life event.

Nor can I truly allow myself to receive love or care from others, though they want to love me. Yet, I still manage to love hard – really, really hard.

My body doesn’t digest foods, other than whole foods, anymore. All other foods and substances make me sick – my body rebels them.

I’ve little desire to be coupled with any one someone for now. Not that I don’t want it, just something in me doesn’t want it daily, nightly or every minute.

Little, too, do I enjoy mingling or socializing among crowds preferring interactions with fewer people and spending more time alone.

The real ability to relax or de-stress vanished years ago.

Of late, too, rarely do I feel well physically due to some mysterious ailments that I push through daily. I still don’t understand the meaning of this.

Yet, perhaps most challenging – I don’t remember how to not fear at all. I know we will always fear, and fear serves a rightful purpose at times. Though my goals is to remember to not fear.

So these are a few of those elements to which I’ve “lost” in some sense.

And many, I’m not sure I want back, yet others, sure, I hope to reintroduce in time.

Letting It Be

So until I can put them rightfully in their place, I will do as my dad suggests. Just accept them for now and “let it be.”

Perhaps in time, I will understand.

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