An Unconventional Road

by Melody Jean

Chronic Illness. I’ll admit it. Especially for those who can’t. Because the more I share, the more others come to me so that they can move beyond, too.

So the Story Goes

Many have gleaned I’ve faced health issues.

These last two years, something I’ve not shared is that I’ve been handling many health complications, but working full time.

And nothing, I mean nothing, has rocked my world like this, but I’ve still persevered.

Hope: It’s a Beautiful Thing

It’s gotten much worse recently, and I was offered a glimmer of hope as to why I’ve been encapsulated in this hazy existence.

One filled with daily, chronic nausea unable to fully manage simple things like the stimulus in stores, riding elevators, fluorescent lights, walking, laying down, or the glare from my computer without intense nausea and constant disorientation.

It’s not typical vertigo, unfortunately. It is coupled with hearing loss so it’s very complicated.

It’s a Death of Sorts

I’m holistic in most senses and I feel damned with conventional medication and just as damned without it. It’s a push/pull and taken a physical toll on my body; the stress from the condition.

I’m physically weaker. I get it, I understand it.

Hiking, cycling, and long distance treks – my greatest loves, are gone. It’s been a death of sorts.

Yet, you can’t lament for what was taken, or you’re destined for a life of misery.

Live to Work, Love and Play

I can’t begin to explain my existence, both physically and cognitively and the treatments, tests and bogus diagnoses I’ve incurred so I won’t bother.

I just do the best I can to conserve my energy for what I have to, to get by.

To work, love and play a little, even if it’s in this purple haze.

Some of Me

Also, something, sweeter, softer has come forward.

Today I did a photo-shoot in the mountains – I share two choice pictures.

They show some of me.

You see, to get past the physical pain — I hug myself a lot, I pray a lot, and dream … a lot.

As one of my fave bands Rush says, in their song BU2B, “Though the balance tilts against me, I was brought up to believe.”

So I continue to believe.

If my unconventional road traveled brings me to you, or someone else, who might need a hand, that is enough for me.



{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

S.M. Kelly

Big hugs to you, my gorgeous friend. Thank you, as always, for sharing.


Melody Jean

thanks for your acknowledgment my, friend SMK 🙂


Cousin Stephen

I hope you feel better.


Melody Jean

I appreciate your well wishes Steve; as a doctor you know this isn’t easy, finding the answers. I have seen one recently who may offer some hope, God willing. Thanks again for your note 🙂


Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: