Another’s Opinion of You Doesn’t Have to Be Your Reality

by Melody Jean

Another's Opinion of You Doesn't Have to Become Your Reality Contemporary Seeker“Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you become your reality.” – Les Brown

Gosh, darn it, I love that quote.

It’s one of my alma maters. True story.

When Someone Else’s Picture is Skewed

In recent months someone who I adored questioned a deep element about me.

Not just in a menial way, so I was taken aback. Actually, I was blasted off guard.

In all the time that we had been close, or known each other, the other exuded respect and support of this particular fundamental joy in my life. Or so I thought.

When the words were uttered that indicated this was not so, it was a rough pill to swallow.

It was unfair in many regards, too.

Yet, I don’t preach life (or people) to always be fair. We were never promised fair.

However, I do expect people to respect my dignity. Particularly those I’m close to.

After the Blow

For a day I felt crummy.

While I remembered what was said, I didn’t attribute my sullen mood strictly to that one asinine statement right then.

So much was said that day, that I wasn’t sure of the weight those particular words bared.

When it hit me I thought,“How in God’s name can someone I cared so deeply for deem me so different than I see myself, or further, that I thought others viewed me? AND how could this individual not have had the gumption to express this sooner?”

Such a careless act – not being honest and truthful and I thought it sad (for the other).

Shifting Back to Good

Of course I was surely hurt. As a result, I began to doubt myself in ways I never thought possible.

I realized, too, most would doubt themselves if their integrity and view of self was criticized by someone close. Especially since it was a “surprise,” and had to have been lingering for some time …

This, my fellow seekers, is the reason for this post. To help those who have faced this too.

Picking-up the Pieces

When it finally dawned on me what transpired, I turned to a confidante. She is someone who has been a teacher of sorts along my path of late.

She informed me that she can personally attest to the exact opposite of what was expressed. I am all that I thought I was. In fact, I am more so what I am, than I even know. This notion was further supported by others who know me.

This is when I looked up to the sky and thanked the almighty One for the grace.

And Les Brown’s quote, popped into my head. The one I opened with.

It’s so easy to get thrown off kilter by someone else’s judgment of you, especially when it’s someone whom you respected and cared for.

Perhaps this special someone didn’t know me the way I thought. However, I don’t blame entirely, as I’m sure that I kept elements (of me) hidden, too. Ones that may have expanded the view on this area. Yet, that’s my nature in some regards, to keep me for myself.

The End Note

With that, the next time someone slams you with an opinion that totally goes against who you know you are, it pays to pause to examine the statement.

While certainly there are times when we don’t see ourselves as we truly are, I speak to those moments when you’re dead certain.

It’s then, my friends, when your opinion of yourself should always remain your reality. Take solace in the fact that nobody knows you like you do, so trust in you.

That’s all for now.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }


You need to stop being so damn timely with these posts! I just had a very similar situation happen last evening with my co-renter. After some thought and meditation, I was able to take the high road, and approach him in a diffusing way and has made all the difference.

I always liked the Solomonic proverb: “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”


Melody Jean

It’s synchronicity — messages are received when needed 🙂 The higher road is pretty scenic, isn’t it? Good for you. I appreciate your note, so thank you!


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