Cold Hearts Do Exist: It’s for the Yin and Yang of It

by Melody Jean

Cold Hearts Do Exist: It’s for the Yin and Yang of It Contemporary SeekerPrelude

I cringe when I catch myself thinking low-vibration thoughts. It’s as if my insides want to wilt-up and die.

However, this post goes to a dark place because I will speak to cold-heartedness. Sadly, it exists; especially when relationships come to an end. Yet, cold-hearted souls can be redeemed.

With that, since this post isn’t filled with elements all light-filled and lovey-dovey, I must start with this prelude to set the stage. While these observations aren’t pleasant, they came to me, and I know it’s okay that they did. It’s alright because I’m human. Being human is part of spiritual seeking, too, believe it or not.

We’re not privy to being able to completely abort all “negative” or “low vibration” feelings and contemplations in every single moment. It’s impossible.

–> Ignore the Zealots!

Of course you’ll find spiritual zealots who claim they’re completely Zen 150% of the time. They maintain that there is no “feeling bad,” because all is good.

Right, right … all’s good, in every moment. Every … fucking … single… moment.

–> Tell That to …

Tell that to the person who lost their child, or the child who lost his or her parent.

Tell that to the girl whose heart was stomped upon by the man she thought she’d marry, or the woman who was raped last week, or the man whose wife died this morning.

Tell that to the drug addict, who woke up in a cell last night losing everything they stood for, most importantly their dignity.

Tell that to the person who awakens every day feeling like crap because of an invisible disease that renders them a lesser form of what they were before.

Tell that to the person who is donating their kidney so their child will survive, or to the family who lost their son to a senseless murder.

While these are dire situations, I use them to depict the very real scenario that it’s impossible to not have sad, hurt, and devastated feelings or thoughts.

–> How Long You Hold It

So those spiritual extremists who say nothing bothers them, ever? They’re not the real deal. I will be point blank.

We are human and we will become despondent. We will have lower judgments and injured feelings. It’s normal. There is no “150% Zen.”

What there is, however, is the ability to not stay in that lower vibration energy for a long period of time. To feel it, digest it and then move on – that is truth my friends. We do not need to hold onto the pain for so long.

So on that note, here I share. Because as a writer and seeker, this is what I do; I acknowledge, express and release. It’s part of my spiritual journey.

Cold Hearts

It’s so devastatingly disappointing to realize that someone who you cared about is not who you thought they were. Whether a good friend; ex-boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband or partner; or family member; it hurts like hell when this notion surfaces.

It’s almost as if you never knew them at all.

Slamming the Door

In the case of the ex-lover (i.e. spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner), one might find themselves in a juxtaposition where they are left high and dry. And, of course, it’s happened to me.

I see this all of the time, too. Someone leaves their partner and never looks back.

One minute their gallivanting through relationship bliss for a year, decades or more, and the next, they’re telling their partner that they’re yesterday’s news. It happens so fast it’s like you’re completely blindsided. They slam the door, and cowardly utter, “I’m sorry, sorry for many things.”

Of course I speak to those relationships where one is leaving a genuine good-souled person. Not a relationship that needs to end because he or she is detrimental to your health.

No Looking Back – Heart of Stone

Once the door is closed, the silence ensues. The “break-up initiator” is on their merry way, perhaps dating others, never to be seen or heard from again.

When this happens I can’t help but to think, just how cold-hearted can one be? Is your heart comprised of a mound of stone?

Did you not care about the other at all? Never mind as a lover, but not even as a fellow citizen and human? Would you treat a “friend” like this; let alone someone who you shared your bed with?

Did You Forget?

Did you forget how kind they were, and the joy that they brought to you and your family?

Did you forget about the days-on-end where they championed your cause, and helped you when you needed it most?

Did you forget about the hours, upon hours, when they assisted you with projects that you didn’t have the gumption or strength to begin, much less complete on your own?

Did you forget about the jokes they told and how they made you crinkle with laughter?

Did you forget about the humorous things they’d say or do, which made you think, “Oh my God! Yet, I adore you anyway?”

Did you forget?


How Can You Not Look Back?

How can you not look back, even as a friend, or a fellow human? How can you be so cold?

I am not suggesting you should stay in a relationship that you no longer feel is working. However, if the person is smart, intelligent, kind and loving (not a serial killer or stalker), then you should look back. To atleast check-in to determine how the other is faring. It’s what any man would do for fellow man, is it not?

Especially if you left when they needed support in some fashion.

If you just packed up, and moved on without another glimpse, then you most likely left your decency behind, too.

A Journey of Yin and Yang

When I notice low vibrational actions like these, and ponder them, I’m always reminded of yin and yang. All of the opposites: good/bad, happy/sad, love/hate, wealthy/poor, kind/selfish and onward.

There is an opposite to everything. It has to be this way. Though, it doesn’t have to be viewed as a horrible element.

One truly can’t exist without the other. For how would you recognize joy, if you didn’t know despair?

So while someone may wrong us, and cut us deep, remember that the opposite is waiting for you.

The End Note

For those who abandoned, aborted and didn’t look back (hopefully it was without thinking), there is always time to re-check yourself.

We have many lifetimes to learn our lessons. You can finish this lesson on a positive note, in this life. The choice is yours.

For those, who have been treated in this vein, God bless you. Remember, you are loved and having felt this pain, you will find the true endearing heart that you seek.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }


Yes. This.


Melody Jean

glad you like 🙂


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