Did You Say How Can This Happen to Me?

by Melody Jean

howcanthishappencontemproaryseekerMy dad always says “Life was never meant to be easy. Enjoyable at times, yes. Easy? No.”

An Easy Life is My Birthright, No?

People mistakenly assume life is supposed to be easy. That it’s their birthright in a sense. To sail through and have an enjoyable, problem-free existence.

They believe this so much so, that when forced to face obstacles they sit in despair, wondering “Why me?”

Did You Say “How Can This Happen to Me?”

Their minds scream, as they shake in the night, “Life is hard, it’s dirty. Oh please heavens! Tell me, how can this happen to me?”

What Makes You So Special?

What makes you think that you’re the only one forsaken? That you, and you alone have the greatest burden(s) to bear? From illness, to disease, death of loved ones, heartache, and loneliness – to greed and envy and the malice imposed on you from their fury – to financial hardship, or any of the aforementioned befalling a loved one?

From where I sit, everyone touches these at some point. Nobody is immune. It’s happened to me. So why not you?

My dad said to me once, “What makes you think that you’re so special? That you, and you alone, hurt more than everybody else and that you’re entitled to grieve endlessly for or all that you do not have or think that you’ve lost?” I thought to myself, “Wow. Memo received.” That snapped me out of my demise pretty quickly.

Bruce Springsteen, “The Boss,” also does justice to this theory in his track Human Touch. He sings, “So you’ve been broken and you’ve been hurt, show me somebody who ain’t.”

For better or worse, we’re all special. We all hurt and suffer, to varying degrees of course, and there’s a reason.

Why We Suffer

Consider this: “Illness itself is one of those forms of experience by which one arrives at the knowledge of God … It is, so to speak, the cord of love by which God draws to Himself the saints.

These words are those of Al Ghazzali an 11th and 12th century philosopher.

Many a wise ones, over the course of human existence have been telling us this. Yes. It’s ‘truth’ that we must endure pain, hardship, and the like. It’s through pain and suffering that we often receive our greatest lessons. Why? This pain, well, it ensures that we remember. Again we must remember.

–> Remember What?

That we’re not alone, and there’s something greater than us. We need to be reminded because we get so caught up in the everyday world and its material offerings and obligations.

Yet, there has to be something greater.

It’s almost an unwritten proven theory that often when we lose faith is exactly the same moment that we need it most.

Pain and suffering forces us to turn inward to rely only on our higher energy as a guide, rather than externals and the materialism of the apparent world. This is what gives us the ultimate strength.

–> Our True Birthright

This is actually part of our birthright – the gift to be able to make it through anything if we rely on something greater; the greatest love of all. An easy life, is not part of our birthright, contrary to popular belief.

Some Need a Crash Course: Like Me

I can share this now, because I understand this entity.

In my short life I’ve had the carpet ripped-out from under me many times. Not small little things. I speak to those times when everything crashes and burns at the same exact moment. All security gone – from house, job, and health, to relational – I’ve had it all taken at a moment’s notice.

One time, when facing a “mystery illness” that literally snow-balled my life for a year, or more, my best friend said to me, “If it didn’t happen his way, that you got really sick you’d have kept going, achieving, climbing, wearing yourself out. You’ve done so much in your life.” She continued “I see you as like a snowball. You live your life going downhill so fast, doing everything along the way, getting bigger and bigger, and when something like this happens, you are forced to stop; to do something else. If something didn’t physically stop you, you’d never stop.”

–> It’s Time to Go Back to That Place

When obstacles like these appear before me, sooner rather than later, I manage to remember that I need to go to that place. It’s deep inside me, and safe. It’s not out there in the world, it’s inside me.

I try to refrain from, “oh why me?” Instead I will myself to remember to ask whatever is out there, greater than me, to help me through. To lead me and help me to make the right decisions, to give me the strength needed to put one foot in front of the other, and most importantly to help me to decipher, and then do, the next right thing.

–> The Next Right Thing

My dad told me one time, to just do the next right thing because sometimes that’s all we can focus on. What’s immediately before us, the next right move. Not that which is needed a month from now. Focus on what’s right for this moment.

If we continue to do this, we will eventually surface again from that where we tumbled to. The awesome wave that we were surfing prior to the accident will once again be ours to ride.

It’s a Continual Process

So while I know I’ve suffered, and I will continue to, I know there is a reason. With this, I no longer slam the door in suffering’s face. I often welcome it, give it a hug, sigh, and say “Ah, yes, you’re here again.” Apparently I need a reminder. Let’s just hope it’s a speedy reminder at that 😉

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }


Another insightful article !


Melody Jean

Thanks George for letting me know, I’m happy you liked it! 🙂



Remember. You Have Been Given Enough for the Journey.


Melody Jean

I appreciate the reminder, sometimes we need that. Thank you!


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