Some People Won’t Change – So Just Take the Higher Road

by Melody Jean

A recent incident warped me time-machine-like back to adolescence circa 1980’s. Thanks to the advent of new technology there is always a way to remain connected to people. Even those who we thought we could leave in our past. So without getting into the particulars of the incident, which actually aren’t necessary to share my point, I came to a few profound realizations. (1) It’s fact what they say, some people will truly never change because it takes work for people to change (2) People in our lives who encompass that which is presented in item #1, might be placed in our lives as an example or to teach us something and (3) While that person may not change, you can.

Hiking-Up The Higher Road

In response to said person’s behavior, it is to our benefit and that of all involved, to always “take the higher road.” While it seems these ‘types’ of people who come into our lives (and thanks to social media may reappear), who are hurtful and troublesome are simply trying to bring us down, debase, or belittle us; I realized again that while this may be true to some extent, we have the ability to circumvent their anger directed toward us. We don’t even have to understand why they are the way that they are. Or why they direct this disdain our way. In hindsight I feel sorry for those who treat others this way. They have to carry a burden around and it’s a heavy load. It may even be on a subconscious level in that he or she may not even realize that they act in this manner. Their behavior is like drinking poison and expecting others to perish as a result. It’s lose-lose for them really.

The good news in all of this? We can evade their misguided feelings by just praying for them or sending light and positive thoughts and energy their way. We can ask our higher source to give him/her the capacity to be a more kind and gentle human being and in turn provide us with the patience necessary to remain loving to him or her as needed in all of our future interactions.  I would like to leave you with this story, about the man and his cook which a Buddhist monk shared with me and some others one time. I will try to paraphrase here.

The Man and His Cook

“Famous and as kind as he was, the man had a cook, who was grouchy, unhappy and mean all of the time. The cook too made no concerted effort to stifle his nastiness toward his employer even though his boss, the man, was only gentle and kind in return. Time and again townspeople would appear before the man and offer their assistance in lieu of the angry chef. They ensured the man that they will prepare grand meals, love and cherish the man who was kind to all as he deserved to be cherished. Each offer was met with the same response from the man. As caring as he was, he gently refused and sent them on their merry way.

Finally a friend of the man asked him, “Why won’t you fire the cook and hire someone worthy, someone who will treat you as well as you treat him?” The man responded “because I need the cook.” His friend said, “Well, yes I know you need a cook. Yet, there are many who can cook and surely there are many who cook well, but are also kind! Several have come your way offering this very thing!” In response the man simply said “I need THAT particular cook.” Confused, his friend inquired “why do you need HIM?” The man responded “because he teaches me patience.”

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }


There is a story I love which is attributed to Jesus (in the Apocrypha, I believe). Jesus is walking in the marketplace and the people start calling out all sorts of nasty remarks his way. He continues on and the remarks get even nastier. Finally, he stops and turns to one of the most virulent blasphemers and says, “May God bless you!” Surprised by this remark, someone asked Jesus why he blessed the man instead of upbraiding him. Jesus replied: “I can can only spend what is in my pocket.”


Melody Jean

I absolutely LOVE this story Mike, thank you for sharing and so applicable!


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