With or Without You – What Decides?

by Melody Jean

With or Without You – What Decides? Contemporary SeekerI heard U2’s super-famous tune With or Without You on the radio today.

The line grabbed me that’s gripped my attention since it hit airwaves back in 1987. The one that probably ‘gets’ to everyone’s core:

“I can’t live, with or without you.”

Push/Pull of With or Without

In that moment I was hit right-side-up with the feeling of the push/pull I often get when needing to decipher if I’ll be better off with or without something in my life.

From people, habits, hobbies, to work, and more – there are so many instances where one can feel like they just can’t live with or without something.

So I often find myself in a conundrum wondering — what decides?

Mind vs. Emotion vs. Intuition

Where I reside on my life’s journey, I sometimes experience difficulty decoding what is driving a particular decision I’m about to make or made.

It’s never regarding a work decision, though. Those I have down pat. Rather, it’s usually the decisions regarding my personal life and that of others.

–> The Pause

Increasingly I find myself pausing to ponder whether a decision is/was driven by my mind, emotions, intuition, or some combination thereof.

If I let something, or someone go, I often feel pain, loss and wonder at some point along the way … was it right?

–> The Speculation

Further, I speculate, just how does one know for certain if it was feeling, intuition or emotion that made the choice?

I prefer to rely on a deep level of intuition, in all matters, even of the heart.

Well, that’s what I strive for anyway. Whether it’s transpiring as such is a different story <wink, wink>.

The Struggle Ensues

I’ve changed some very tremendous things in my life over the last several years and many just in the past several months.

From people, to homes, to hobbies, to other elements – I’ve shifted, and I’m still shifting.

Yet, I sit at times with some unrest questioning if my decisions are based upon intuition (beyond the basic level), emotionality or if my mind is tripping me up.

A Pragmatic Approach

In answer to the questions, “What is the purpose of living?” and “Why do I exist?” In a piece written by Arthur J. Deikman, he offers the following, noting the Sufi approach, which I am drawn to:

Sufism, is a tradition devoted to the development of the higher intuitive capacity needed to deal with this issue. By taking advantage of the special science of the Sufis, Western civilization may be able to extricate itself from its dilemma and contribute to the development of man’s full capacities.”

The Sufis maintain that man needs more than intellect and emotion to guide him.

Recognition — It’s the Way to Be

So, you see, that I was even able to recognize that a push/pull between emotion, mind and lower level intuition exists when making decisions, is a “good thing.”

I actually found the aforementioned Sufi approach after I identified this struggle within.

Perhaps my “discovery,” is an indicator that I will, or that I already am, moving beyond it.

Or further, yet, that I’m scratching the surface of a deeper level of knowing. It’s something that is available to us all, if one wants to journey there.

Why the Need to Know?

I only share this because it’s part of my journey and certainly not to boast, for there is nothing to “crow” about.

I’ve identified the experience and I have been working to move beyond it.

I would love to uncover, in me, the underlying capacity available to all of mankind – the deepest, inner knowing. It’s really the “ancient teaching.”

If I do, I can better serve myself and, in turn, assist the world in the highest good of all concerned.

To Be … With or Without? 

At this juncture, when I make a personal decision (i.e. to live with or without something), I believe that it’s still based in part upon a combination of all said elements.

Some emotionality, some logic (the mind), and some intuition (that may be transcending to a deeper level), they’re all involved.

It’s my hope to move beyond the leaders of emotion and mind and find solace in the deeper knowing.

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